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So last week I got this email.

“Hello my Utah Princess
I am Robert
I recently Relocated here
And you are the First Person I Contacted…..
Your Amazingly Beautiful
May I get to know your inner Beauty……………………”

It’s a sweet email, but when I went to the guys page the connection just isn’t there. There are some really big lifestyle differences and I just don’t feel the connection enough with what he wrote to want to see if the life stuff can be over come. But it was a busy couple days and I didn’t have a chance to send him back my polite no thank you email. Two days later, I got this.

“I wrote you…
And no answer
Are you not attracted to Handsome
Hard working
Black me 🙂
Dont be scard…
You proberly will fall in Love :)”

Fall in love is a pretty bold statement for someone you haven’t even met yet. Had he actually read my profile instead of just looking at the photos before emailing he might have known we have some pretty key differences and love isn’t very likely. But ok, clearly now it really is time for the polite no thank you email. To which he replies.

Your family or you dont like black men?”

Oh there it was. The racist card I figured was going to be pulled. I can have 20 guys email me, and I can send all 20 of them a no thank you email for various reasons. But if one guy happens to not be white, he instantly fires back at me that the reason for the rejection is solely because I am racist.

Hey I get it. Utah dating is hard when you are anything but blond with blue eyes. And I am not even going to pretend that racism doesn’t exist, because I know it does. But assuming that every girl who says you aren’t a good match is doing so because of skin color is really a bad way to look at the world and dating. That kind of thinking does not give a lot of genuinely good people the benefit of the doubt.  I regularly go on dates with people of all different races and backgrounds. I shouldn’t have to defend myself to the occasional asshole who thinks my saying no is a reflection on his skin color. I wish people would just move on and get over things instead of pulling out both guns and calling people they don’t even know nasty names. Maybe that girl is saying no because she doesn’t like black people, and in that case you don’t want to date a closed-minded person like that anyways. Or maybe, just maybe; she is saying no because your profile says you don’t believe in evolution and think creationism should be the only thing taught in schools. That your profile says a love of Christ is very important for anyone you date to have. Maybe there were some other key differences, and she thinks those might be too big of hurdles to try and over come.

But you know. Minor details.