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I am by nature a more open and affectionate person. I freely give hugs to friends both when I first see them and when leaving a social engagement. It is just the way I am.  But I don’t generally go around hugging random strangers and people I just met. Usually I have to count you as a friend or be comfortable with you before I hug you.

At the end of 1st and 2nd dates guys will often ask for a hug. I guess it is “better” than a hand shake. I don’t mind obliging; I even sometimes instigate a hug if the date went well. It is better than kissing them which is something I find to be more intimate, and reserved for a little later (assuming they get that far with me). Occasionally though the hug turns creepy, and that is when I have a problem with it.

Last night at the end of a date that went well, (but not great. Just no real attraction to him.) the guy asked for a hug as we were parting ways. Sure, why not. Hugs, esp with people you don’t know should NOT linger. This guy hugged me and after an appropriate amount of time I released my arms.
And he KEPT hugging me. 
Several more seconds passed and I pulled back a little. 
And he KEPT hugging me. 
More time passed and I pulled back a little more. Then he says (while still hugging me) in a low bedroom voice, “hugging you feels really nice”. 
(Danger Will Robinson. Danger!). 
Only after several more seconds had passed did he finally release me from his huggy man grip.

Long linger hugs are creepy and uncomfortable for the person trapped in them. But for heaven’s sake, if you are going to pull someone in a long hug, don’t say something extra creepy while you do it.

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